They have a name for the syndrome people experience when, upon reaching the cusp in their lives halfway between birth and the grave, they completely lose sense of who they are. It's called mid-life crisis. Wikipedia expands on the topic by characterizing it as "a period of dramatic self-doubt that is felt by some individuals as a result of sensing the passing of youth and the imminence of old age. Sometimes, transitions experienced in these years, such as aging in general, menopause, the death of parents, or children leaving home, can trigger such a crisis. The result may be a desire to make significant changes in core aspects of day to day life or situation, such as in career, marriage, or romantic relationships."
But what's it called when 26 year olds (who, incidentally haven't experienced children leaving home or menopause) experience this phenomenon? They say 30 is the new 20?? Bull shit. Wait, let me clarify: It'd be asinine to say that young people of today aren't offered MANY more opportunities than were those of yester-year--which is probably what started the whole "30 is the new 20 / 40 is the new 30" sentiment in the first place. These days, of course, men and women are free to choose if, when, and how to walk the path of successful career persons, parents, both, or neither. This sense of freedom, coupled with the vast availability of medical technology and health information, has afforded Americans to live life on THEIR terms.
BUT, what happens when all of these choices become too much for one to handle? You may have gathered from my last post, that I'm experiencing a slight ontological meltdown. Just to put it out there, if it's possible anyone's even reading this who doesn't know me, I'm 26, single, no kids...and NO Earthly idea what I want to do with myself.
I feel entirely compelled to add that my my highly intelligent (and arguably telepathic) ex-boyfriend just texted me, for the first time in two months, these words: "look up, you should be happy." (I swear he really did just text that). And when I responded with usual dry sarcasm "why, all I see is the bathroom ceiling?" he then replied "um, the future is an open ticket." Wow.
Despite that highly comforting (if not totally crazy) prophecy, the issue still remains. I don't think I'm alone in the feeling of utter confusion when faced with life's many decisions. Right now, I want to (and feasibly could): be single, be married, be a mother, be childless , own a home, travel the world, live in a great city, live in my hometown again, go to grad school, continue being a career woman, etc... Such chaos! A large part of me yearns for a time when things were simpler, and (*reversal of all feminist movement progress in T minus two seconds*) we didn't have to THINK about what we wanted to do with our lives. Of course, my grandmother has something different to say about it: "You women are so lucky today...you live such exciting lives...I'm so happy to live vicariously through you." The grass is always greener.
We humans will never stop 'til we're satisfied, and my guess is--we never will be satisfied. We're the executors of our own destiny, and consequently, will be the executors of our own demise. We live life as veritable Veruca Salts--wanting and wanting and yearning and striving--not even realizing that all the while, the whole damn show is passing us by. Anyway, until some dramatic epiphany descends upon me, I'll be graciously accepting donations in the form of words of wisdom and divine comments.
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2 comments:
So I think it's called a Quarter-Life crisis- isn't that what that Eat, Pray, Love book is about? Either way, you're one (if not the) smartest and most creative people I know and I can't wait to see where you end up once you do find your "path" :) In the short term, I think a road trip may be in order! In the longer term, i'm feeling a westward pull...
The answers reside firmly in your heart. You need to learn how to listen to them. Hear, Listen and Act Accordingly. Itreally is that simple.
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